MORNING FORUMITES.
Well what all other sportsmen should do is read ERIC email to DAVE ,
"go for it DAVE you are 3days ahead ,keep that up and you will break my round Australia record "
I DIPS my lid to you ERIC
looking out the flap of the tent its a white frosty morn. going buy the news last night, that tremor was 50 Ks off
the coast of Taree, we never felt or heard a thing
NANs sister rang from Melbourne to make sure all was well.

smile

An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a stay-over in another city, so upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened to her. She answered the phone, sobbing, and said she couldn't get out of her room.

"You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

The stewardess replied, "There are only three doors in here, "she cried," one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"

bern

MORNING FORUMITES
It is as quite as a mouse,but another cold house this morn
No word from Dave this morning as yet he sure is a goer be a good mate for the King Rats

smile

This man was sitting quietly reading his paper one morning, peacefully
enjoying himself, when his wife sneaks up behind him and whacks him on the
back of his head with a huge frying pan.

He asks, "What was that for?" She replies, "What was that piece of paper in
your pants pocket with the name Marylou written on it?"

He says, "Oh honey, remember two weeks ago when I went to the horse races?
Marylou was the name of one of the horses I bet on." She is appeased and
goes off to work around the house.

Three days later he is once again sitting in his chair reading and she
repeats the frying pan swatting. He says, "What's that for this time?" She
answered, "Your horse called."

bern

That Dave Byrnes is totally amazing....you Aussies sure have a lot of really great sportsmen!!! You all should be proud...... Go Dave go....
Jessica Watson, Shaun Quincey, can't wait to keep up with their adventures. Technology is so great now you can ride along, almost, as we did with the rats.(thanks!) And look what they did for us ol' diehards, still together, so to speak, here on the forum..... what fun... hope you are all having a good day, I have a television show to watch before I go to bed.... (Iron Chef America )
pat

no sexist jokes allowed on this forum, except by the pure ladies !!!!!!!

have a great day Bern
pat

Barby and others

Do you also remember boiling up the copper for washing, before washing machines?

Home deliveries by the butcher, baker, milkman, iceman, grocer and green grocer.

Trams all over Sydney and steam trains on country trips.

Cracker night or Empire night with the bonfire, penny bungers, sparklers and sky rockets.

Police on point duty in the CBD in the days before traffic lights.

SMILE

Patient: How much to have this tooth pulled?
Dentist: $200
Patient: $200 for just a few minutes work???
Dentist: I can extract it very slowly, if you like.

Barry

The big news is that the Crossing the Ditch documentary DVD is now available through the website:
http://www.crossingtheditch.com.au

It is a great show. I have seen it three times and it always brings tears to my eyes with emotion.

There are clips from it on the website.

You can order for it to be delivered to Aust, NZ or elsewhere.

Dave Byrnes arrived at Daly Waters Yesterday. He is having trouble to keep up his schedule, due to fatigue and cycling in windy conditions.

http://sports.groups.yahoo.com/group/Dave_Byrnes_Round_Oz_2009

Barry

Barby, you dont think you are that old untillyou read abuot things that were not around when in your teen years
Tv=jet planes=M/phones ,... no sorry... Dick Tracy had a phone on his wrist , and we use to say ""look at this dickhead talking to his hand"{who turned out to be the dick head??]
I use to run and jump on the back of the handsome cab{taxi now] a horse pulling a cab with the driver with whip up front , with him trying to hit you with his whip and people inside the cab yelling[leave the kid alone you old bugger hang on kid>> gteat fun better than walking,
like you with the iceman go for his chip offs
think nothing going to Malvern town hall to a dance ,on the train' then walking home to Mentone after the dance {about 8 mile}
If you wanted something you made it .they wernt in shops
better close now bern and have your POPPY NAP
bern

Just noticed comment from Shaun Qunicey

tamanrower

Thanks all for the support training is going well and slowly pulling the expedition together. I will check in on this chat more often.

MORNING FORUMITES
not much doing in the tent,,Dave is still going strong by all acounts,
he is a very fit man

smile

A man walks into the toy store to get a Barbie doll for his daughter. So he asks the assistant, as you would, "How much is Barbie?"

"Well," she says, "we have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.00."

"Hey, hang on," the guy asks, "why is Divorced Barbie $265.00 when all the others are only $19.95?"

"Yeah, well, it's like this ... Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's boat, Ken's furniture ..."

bern

Barby, yes, if we even remember one or two of those things on your list, we are getting old (er)..... I forgot about the old sprinkler in the Coke bottle and the metal ice cube trays, I hated those things And on and on
thanks for the memories
pat

That's me Barry and all those facts about us lefties is very interesting....thanks
pat

Barry ,
when about 8-10 year old I use to sell papers of a race day at the MENTONE race course , and they use to have a stack of buggies running fron the railway station to the course ,taking the punters there and back after the races, my best day selling was a Yank had a good win at the races ,and I HAD ABOUT 30 PAPERS TO SELL AT ONE PENNY EACH HE TOOK THE LOT OFF ME ,AND GAVE ME ONE QUID , i WENT HOME LIKE A KING WITH A POCKET FULL OF MONEY
bern

MORNING FORUMITES,
and LEFTIES,The computer has letme catch up with Dave >>GO Dave GO, and how lucky was that bloke over in the IRISH SEA,2 chaps doing a JAMES and JUSTIN only rowing a boat across the Irish Sea , and what do they see in front of them a bloke on the wing of his small plane waving at them ,they call for help and as he is getting taken off his plane its under water, TALK about the luck of the IRISH

worth a smile


A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"
She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!"
Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.
After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations."
To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "200 DOLLARS? YOU'RE OUT OF YOUR MIND!"

bern

Seeing that man standing on top of his plane wing in the middle of the ocean must have looked like a mirage ... you would think you were going crazy seeing a vision like that . He is so lucky those kayakers were near.

Here's a beauty....
A Queensland jackeroo is overseeing his herd in remote territory when suddenly a brand-new BMW advances out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a designer suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, 'If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?'

The jackaroo looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, 'Sure, why not?'

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored.
He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel Spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-colour, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, 'You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.'

'That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,' says the Cowboy.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then the cowboy says to the young man, 'Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?'

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, 'Okay, why not?'

'You work for the Australian Government', says the Jackaroo.

'Wow! That's correct,' says the yuppie, 'but how did you guess that?'

'No guessing required.' answered the jackaroo. 'You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used all kinds of expensive equipment that clearly somebody else paid for, you tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows … this is a herd of sheep. Now give me back my dog.'

barby

Hello everyone,
Just checking in to see what everyone is up to BUT more importantly fot the 'smiles'
After the week I've had now I can smile - thank you :)

Pam

So sorry Dave has had trouble again.. it's still a fantastic effort to get that far in such a short time
Wish him well for the future
barby

Good news with DAVE, he has been to Darwin ,
got the repairs and will be starting his ride again around 4am
GO DAVE GO
bern

The Forster paper has an article about the bridge now being 50 years, prior to that we went across by punt:

http://www.greatlakesadvocate.com.au/news/local/news/general/twin-towns-bridge-captured-for-50th-anniversary/1594397.aspx

Barby

I've cleaned this one for the forum, being the blonde I am

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Tasmania. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the colour of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being?

It's men like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as people. You and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes but women in general….and all in the name of humour!"

The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize and the blonde yells: "You stay out of this mate! I'm talking to that little bloke on your lap!"

so what is Nan telling you to do today Bern?

Has anyone else noticed that during the last two nights the Southern Cross has been spectacular, low in the Southern sky, so bright and clear with the pointers absolutely glowing in the sky.
It's as if you could almost touch the stars - - absolutely b e a u t i f u l
I like to think of all the early explorers using them to get around the Southern Hemisphere .... and imagine James and Justin being stunned by the clarity of the stars out in the Ditch

Barby

What is happening to busy parents?

Last night at dusk a little girl (about 9 yrs) was scootering along our neighbour's driveway and her scooter wheel fell down a grate. She fell on her face, knocked out a front tooth and had other injuries.
We heard her screaming and ran in next door to help her. No-one else came to her aid, not even her Mum. I got an ice pack and Karl tried to calm her. She was badly injured and we took her into her Mum.
Because it was the girl's sister's Birthday and they were planning to go out, the Mum verbally attacked the little girl. We couldn't believe the reception! We told the Mum her daughter might have concussion, a broken jaw, lost a tooth, and was in shock. Then the father came back from somewhere in the car with his other daughter, and all they could argue about was the other daughter's Birthday dinner. They eventually took her to hospital in their car and were all abusing each other as they left.

The little girl was so distraught and they were taking no notice of her condition or anguish....What's wrong with some parents that they don't have time to 'see' what's important any more?

barby

We went to see how the little girl is today. She spent most of the night in the Children's Hospital. She is okay, badly bruised, and even though her front teeth have been put back in they might not take .. and will have to wear a protective brace and wait for maybe six months to find out.
Her Mum did thank us today and was extremely grateful to us ... so I think the shock of it was too much for them all. Got my hopes back about family togetherness after all.

So glad to hear Bern's computer is the only problem.. I sent him an email but he wouldn't have been able to open it. Maybe it needs a stimulus package!

Barby

Pam, you said it right on.....it is definitely a me, me, me world...I just hurt for that poor girl!! Hope she wasn't to injured to badly...
oh, just read the second note and glad to hear you got a thank you Barby, it is always scary when someone is hurt especially when its your own child...

Glad Bern let someone know he's ok and its only his computer,,,,, hope he can stay busy without his computer, I think I would be lost without mine, hope I don't ever have to find out....

Take care and have a great weekend

pat